dog stories
Lil' Sharkey
1) Bucky Dog is adjusting well to our crazy house. In the beginning, he tore up the molding next to the door every time we went out of the house without him for more than five seconds. He settled down pretty well when I bought a thing that releases dog oxytocin or something into the air, though. He has a remarkable facility for pointing at, and flushing out, various kinds of wild game. While he likes birds the most, rabbits and deer come in close behind. He doesn't mind squirrels, either.

2) I went to the vet with the dog because his foot was cut. He hates the vet tech there, but I like her - she has a tattoo of a rose on her arm, and talks in baby talk to the dog. She tried to give him a cookie, and he clamped his mouth shut and SHOOK HIS HEAD in refusal. (He later took the exact same cookie from me and devoured it.)

3) My little brother gave my mother a pit bull/cattle dog mutt for Mother's Day. This ended about as poorly as anyone who knows either of them can imagine. All the cats survived, though.

No more Jerry Falwell?!
Lil' Sharkey
So apparently, Jerry Falwell died today.

Initially, I must admit, I was a bit pleased to see that the old douchebag had finally kicked the bucket. I went around my lab humming "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead," as a matter of fact. (Ask Brian's tech. He'll tell you.)

But after the initial warm glow of satisfaction subsided, I started to reminisce about the times we shared, me and the Reverend. I realized that he was, in fact, one of the foremost political humorists and satirists of our age, even if the humor was completely unintentional from his end. Remember when Tinky Winky the Teletubby was gay because he was purple and carried a purse? Or when feminists, liberals, and homosexuals were responsible for 9/11? Good times. Or even back in the day, when he was calling Desmond Tutu a phony, and accusing President Clinton of smuggling cocaine (perhaps Clinton was concealing it in the nostrils of future-President Bush?)

Apparently, despite his apocalyptic fantasies, Rev. Falwell did not fall victim to Rapture (although Rupture is a distinct possibility). Nor did he succumb to the AIDS virus, that plague sent down by the good Lord to punish godless heathens and ho-mo-sexuals. I wonder how he is attempting to explain himself up (or down) there, right at this moment.

the bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy
Lil' Sharkey
Loan company says that the registrar has told them I graduated. Registrar won't tell them that I haven't graduated because I am signed up for 3 credits (the department maximum) in the summer and haven't registered for fall yet (because I don't have the paperwork or list of classes, and I don't even think my reg. window for fall opens for another month). I lost my temper and berated the registrar and the loan company. We'll see what happens.

In other news:

1) We have a dog that doesn't want to kill the cats. His name is Bucky. He is half Black Lab and half Irish Setter (he's a great big fat black dog, basically). He was previously owned by a lady who died and (morbid story alert!) nobody noticed for like four days and all the animals were left alone in the house with her corpse. I don't think that they ate either the body or each other, but I was too polite to ask. I think the dog has mostly recovered from this trauma, though. He went to the vet yesterday and got a clean bill of health providing heartworm tests come back negative, and excepting the fact that he needs to lose like 30 pounds. Currently he weighs 110, so it's good that he's a docile animal. I wish the cats were more docile though. Whitman isn't sure about the dog, but I think he'll come around. However, Iggy Fat Cat wants to kill the dog, but has settled for hissing a lot and maiming Jonathon instead.

2) It isn't fun to put liquid stitches on your fiance at 6:30 AM.

3) Goddamn cat!

4) badthumper is apparently moving in next weekend. It will be nice to have a temporary housemate, I think.

5) We had burglars again like a month ago. They didn't take anything, but they left the front door open (scared when the alarm went off). I got really over-excited in a bad way by this event, went running down the hill to alert our neighbor, tripped over my own two dumb feet, and sprained my foot. But it's mostly better now.

(no subject)
play with food
I made some new icons. It isn't that I don't love Lil' Sharkey, it's that I am bored.

In other news:
- house is steadily progressing towards me living in it


- my turn to do Work In Progress seminar on Friday. This is harder than you would think, considering that all my Work is not really In Progress as much as I'd like, and some of it has not even really Started.

- I was set upon by a woman with makeup and eerily plasticized hair, brandishing a microphone in my face and asking me questions about what I thought the psychological effects would be on the survivors of the shooting at Virginia Tech yesterday. Her accomplice had a large camera with a blinking light. I have been conditioned (by delivering talks and seminars) to professionally, intelligently, and interestedly answer any question asked to me by random people that I'm standing in front of, so I just stood there and talked at her until she walked away. Then I realized that it was actually an interview for the TV news, and that I really don't wish to ever be ON the TV news. Oops. Hopefully the footage will be completely unusable.

- Doctor's appointment today! Maybe now I can find out why my elbow and wrist constantly ache, and why I have a nagging area of discomfort on the bottom of my food. I fear, respectively, carpal tunnel syndrome and plantar fasciitis.

(no subject)
Lil' Sharkey
I now have the Alanis Morrisette april fool's day cover of "My Humps" stuck in my head. I blame Al Gore, as he was the inventor of teh internets.

a momentous occasion
Lil' Sharkey
Iggy has finally lost enough weight so that he can groom his own asshole. I don't know if I'm more pleased at the fact that it's getting groomed by someone who isn't me, or more disgusted at the slurping, munching noise emanating from the corner.

exciting day!
Lil' Sharkey
So we did Stuff today. Stuff included painting the bedroom of the new place (it's about 2/3 of the way done; I should be able to finish it sometime this week), chipping damaged paint and plastering over the dents in the wall of the office, and BUYING A REFRIGERATOR!

I am very excited about the fridge. I have never bought a new appliance before. I'm also pretty excited about the painting, because the room already looks so much nicer even though it's only semi-painted. We are painting it this really deep red color on bottom, with the pink version of the same hue on top, and a really dark burgundy color for the trim. It sounds vile, I know, but it looks pretty good in the room.

We also found a very tasty Chinese place by accident, after accidentally buying the fridge (we went to K-Mart to shop for patio furniture. We left without furniture but with a major appliance; apparently, K-Mart sells all the Sears clearance appliances, and we got a very good price on that fridge, especially since the sales guy just sort of randomly gave us his employee discount; he was a very pleasant man to deal with). Both the K-Mart and the Chinese place are in the West View Shopping Center, if any of you ever find yourself in West View. (Basically, the Chinese food is at the very end of the 500 bus route). We had potstickers, wonton soup, egg rolls, and General Tso's, and all of them were exceptionally delicious. The General Tso's in particular was really pleasant - sort of sweet with a hint of spiciness and a lot of garlic. Also they actually used good-quality breast meat, instead of scary little grey lumps of indeterminate origin.

Other discoveries: a headless bird stuck in one of the attic windows (no way in hell am i touching that fucked-up nastiness), a crapload of echevaria growing out in the backyard, and the fact that the Bayer sign next to the Duquesne incline functions as a clock for our back porch.

busy weekend! Oof!
Lil' Sharkey
After this weekend, going back to the lab on Monday morning is going to seem downright relaxing...

errands of terrorCollapse )

furniture and booze!Collapse )

people who shouldn't have petsCollapse )

buying shitCollapse )

So yeah... Lessons from this weekend:
1) Barleywine is, in fact, more like wine than beer in its potency.
2) Puppies are cute.

i kind of like the idea of myself as an old geezer punk...
Lil' Sharkey

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more dependent than loner, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are intellectual (93%), adventurous (80%), slutty (76%), romantic (71%).

Old Geezer83%
Young Professional82%
Punk Rock80%
Life Experience

Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 100% of the time.
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 47% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated NC-17.
By the way, your hottness rank is 64%, hotter than 90% of other test takers.

brought to you by thatsurveysite

Lil' Sharkey
So, following the Christmas Break-In of 2006, our stupid fishfaced landlady chose to not replace the door that had actually been broken into, feeling that it was "very secure," because she put some slide bolts across it to augment the 2x4. I didn't really agree with this assessment, but figured that I wasn't going to argue because she had, after all, sprung for a security system. However, she decided that the FRONT door needed to be replaced. So, for the past few months, we have had this new front door.

The front door tries to evict me on a regular basis. See, it has a deadbolt lock and a doorknob lock, but when the doorknob is locked, you can still turn the knob from the inside. This means that, if you are an absentminded smoker like me and mrfishes, you end up locking yourself out on the porch with alarming regularity. In the past, we have been fortunate: either we have had our keys with us, one of us has been inside to let the other one back in, or we have managed to find an unlocked window and break in through that. But not today. Today I went out for a cigarette with mrfishes, and shut the door behind me. Not only did that lock us both out, but my cigarettes, keys, and phone were all still in the house! To add to the general hilarity, Jonathon was wearing a bathrobe, pajama pants, coat, and slippers, whereas I was wearing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT A BATHROBE. (I sleep naked, and I was too lazy to put on shoes because it was like 40 degrees out and I didn't feel it was necessary to be shod for the 7 minutes it takes to smoke a cigarette.)

So then we made the funnily-dressed, bedheaded trek around the block to find a neighbor who was home. Luckily, the large Asian family two houses over had several members who were at home. (Tangentially, I love that family. They are hilarious. There are, among diverse other characters, a kid with a bright yellow tricked out Mitsubishi, a girl who dresses in nothing but extremely brightly-colored preppy-looking clothes, an old lady who only speaks Vietnamese or whatever southeast Asian language they all speak, an ancient man who I periodically see lugging strange things into the house like crates of cinder blocks or five water cooler jugs, and a middle-aged man who always wears an engineer's cap and who, yesterday, was beating a statue of the Virgin Mary with a pair of pliers to cleanse it of discolorations.) The girl who wants to model for Hollister let us use the phone, while emphatically stating that it could not be used to make long-distance calls (WTF?! Why would we call California for a locksmith?), and we finally managed to find a locksmith who wasn't already busy attending to some other poor schmuck's shenanigans. Half an hour and $100 later, we were back inside our cozy domicile.


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